How Many Nails in Easter?

How Many Nails in Easter?The answer is five, Easter has five nails.On what do hang your hopes? Good luck? Your wealth? Your health? Your family and friends? Your own intelligence? An experimental drug? …?What nail does your future hang on? Your charisma? Some special ability? …?I have seen my fair share of rusty, bent, and failed nails - in hospital rooms, hospice beds, at crash sites, in treatment centers, living rooms, jails, prisons, counseling sessions, and at gravesides. I have not only seen them I have experienced failed nails in my own life, the pain, the confusion, the grief, and disappointment that comes with hanging life on the wrong nails.Those Easter nails are significant because they offer us our only shot at real hope, lasting life, getting it right before God. You hang your hopes and your life on anything else and you will in the end find it all broken on the floor like a picture that has fallen off the wall.Five nails. Three made sure Jesus really died. They fastened his hands and feet to a cross until every ounce of his life was drained out. On those three nails hang the redemptive purposes of God. God sacrificed his own Son so that by his death we might have life. One nail held Pilate’s sign posted above Jesus’ head, declaring “the King of the Jews.” Pilate made a common mistake. He didn’t think Jesus had any significance for him. He didn’t post his complete title, “King of Kings, and Lord of Lords." He, like you and I, should have hung his life on Jesus’ identity, but he relegated Jesus to only having significance for the Jews, good for someone else. He stuck with the rusty nails of his own beliefs. And there is the fifth nail, the one that nailed God’s indictment of each one of us to the cross of Christ, the one that lists our personal sins and transgressions, the one that renders each one of us guilty before God. Paul reminded the Colossians who had trusted in Christ, “He made you alive with Him (Christ) and forgave us all our trespasses. He erased the certificate of debt, with its obligations, that was against us and opposed to us, and has taken it out of the way by nailing it to the cross. Colossians 2:13-14 (HCSB, parenthesis mine). It is the nail that spells hope and life for sinners.This Easter examine the nails and make sure  your hopes, your future, your life hangs on the Easter nails.To God be all glory, love you, Pastor Hans   

Good Words

Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad. Proverbs 12:25 (ESV)Most likely you have never done this, adding to somebody’s anxiety, weighing their heart down. You know, someone is telling you about an impending operation they will have to undergo and you tell them how your aunt Maggie had the same operation and had nothing but complications. In fact she nearly died twice, was in excruciating pain for weeks, and never really has been the same since. Yep, and your brother went to that same hospital for a simple procedure but got one of those hospital infections and he ended up in ICU for two weeks. He isn’t quite the same either. And of course there is your neighbor who was allergic to the anesthesia; you don’t even want to know how that one turned out.We are all capable of good words, words that sooth, calm down, are right for the moment, are helpful to the hearer. We are capable of speaking words of love, of encouragement, of wisdom, of meaningful truth, of proper perspective. We are capable of speaking words that do some, maybe even do tremendously much good. No, our capability of speaking good words is not the trouble, it’s that we also know how to speak words that cause anxiety, words that stoke worries, words that inflame, that contribute to something, just not good.According to James words can be like matches, “(The tongue like) a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire” James 3:5 (NLT). You yell, “Bat!” in a congregation of mosquitoes, “Shark!” on a crowded beach, “High Jack! On an airplane, “Gun control!” at an NRA convention, and watch what will happen to anxiety levels. It might be wise to consider how dry the ground is, how much tinder is in someone’s heart and mind before saying a word.Words can also be like ice cold glasses of water on a scorching day, they can help someone with their heavy load, they can lift someone’s spirit, they can calm someone’s soul. Who around you needs a good word today? Who needs a word that will lift something off, that will make glad? Will you be the one to deliver it, to speak it? (And for goodness sake leave those matches alone).To God be all glory. Love you, Pastor Hans   

The short end of the stick

It means you’re it whether or not you wanted to be it or not, you’re stuck with it regardless of whether or not you wanted or deserved it. The short end of the stick feels like being shafted, getting a lousy deal. Maybe you remember drawing straws once or twice, I sure do, and nothing good ever came from drawing the shortest straw, it got me stuck with dirty chores, bad dares, and worse.You can saw off your won stick, that is called stupidity, but even then the outcomes vary wildly. Some seem to get more than their fair share of breaks, of second and third chances, and of mercy, while others just knick their stick and it all comes crumbling down. But what if you just ended up with the short end of the stick, if life just hands it to you? When your health is not good, anything but perfect? When you are not the most beautiful, the smartest, the talented one, or even the funny one? What if your family is lousy or you don’t even have one? What if you are suffering because of someone else messing up? What if nice, kind, and safe is the exact opposite of your surroundings and circumstances? What if your short end is one of pain or abuse, or one of poverty and little opportunity? What if that short end is mean, ugly, dysfunctional, violent?You don’t have to live long before you become afraid of the short end of the stick. Just a little taste of it lets you know that it bitter, that it stinks. Just a pinch of it is enough to know that it feels unfair, unjust. Just one glimpse of it is enough to sense that it unkind and cruel. So we spend much of our time and energy avoiding the short end of the stick, “Let somebody else have it! Yes sir’ee!”Hagar was Sarai’s maid, very possibly her slave. She didn’t necessarily pick to be a maid. If you had to pick between mistress or maid/slave what would you choose? I thought so. When Sarai couldn’t have kids and asked Hagar to became Abram’s wife and bear him offspring it was her opportunity to kiss the short end of the stick goodbye. Once she conceived she could not help but rub it in on Sarai who although she was the mistress held the short end of the stick when it came to having children. You can imagine that that these two women did not get along, but when it came to power Hagar still was on the short end of the stick. It got so bad that pregnant Hagar finally just took off because she couldn’t take it anymore. However, God caught up with her and told her something that is tough to swallow, “Return to your mistress, and submit to her authority. I will give you more descendants than you can count. You are now pregnant and will give birth to a son. You are to name him Ishmael (which means ‘God hears’), for the LORD has heard your cry of distress” Genesis 16:9-11 (adapted from NLT). God asked her to willingly stick with the short end of the stick. The good news was that she wasn’t lost to God, none of us is, he knew her, he cared about her, he knew the child within her, he had plans for her and her child. The challenge was that he asked her to continue holding the short end of the stick. How much trust does that take? I find it encouraging that God uses people at the short end of the stick for his great and glorious purposes.“If you are suffering in a manner that pleases God, keep on doing what is right, and trust your lives to the God who created you, for he will never fail you” 1 Peter 4:19 (NLT).To God be all glory, love you, Pastor HansP.S. Please do not misunderstand me to say to submit to mistreatment, abuse, and injustice in every situation and circumstance. Rather we should seek to know, submit to , and do God’s will in every situation and circumstance, which does mean we will not run from all suffering and hardship, nor will we use being at the short end of the stick as an excuse not to act godly, or without faith and love. 

Peace Beyond Understanding

Peace Beyond UnderstandingWe like for things to make sense, to fit, to work out. But things don’t always make sense no matter how hard we try, no matter how much we strain our minds. Even if we find some logic our hearts might not buy it, because in order for something to make sense it is not only the mind which has to be convinced.It is because things don’t seem to make sense that we worry, get anxious, and fret. If bad things only happen to bad people and good things to good people it would be a lot easier to make things fit. If the innocent were protected and the evil were apprehended it would be easier. If we would only reap what we sow it would be easier. But disaster, tragedy, evil, injustice, hardship, disease, suffering, pain, and even death are not evenly distributed, strike with unpredictability, mangle our understanding. So we try hard to make life as safe and predictable as we can, we try hard to protect ourselves against pain, especially if it has already injured us. It doesn’t work. Even if our worrying, our anxiety, our fretting has some success they in themselves afflict us, twist us, pain us.Senselessness, not being able to understand, hurts, carries no peace, continually assaults the mind. Its casualties are too numerous to count. “What should I have done?” What did I do to deserve this?” “Why didn’t I recognize …?” “Why me/us?” “Why would God do this to me/us?” “If only I …!” “How come ...?” “Why?” Endless questions, endless second guessing, real and imagined regrets, the absence of soothing answers, an inner bleeding spins and dizzies us like clothes wrung out and stuck in the spin cycle of a washing machine.We try to cope the best we can, life does go on. Some drink, medicate. Some cling to tighter control, ever greater carefulness. Some surrender to senselessness cynicism, or some other ism. Some remain shattered and broken. But what we really need is peace. We can’t conjure up peace no matter how hard we try, we know immediately when it is fake. No, for some things we need peace that “surpasses all understanding,” peace that exceeds the capacities of our minds, peace that it is able to wrap its comforting arms around our emotions, peace that returns strength, courage, hope, and joy.Where is that kind of peace found? With God alone, with him who is infinitely wise, infinitely good, whose purposes are not upset by the evil and arbitrariness of our existence, who knows how to hold and fully comfort a child – you and me. We are invited to come to him, broken, confused, hurting, angry, despairing, afraid, exhausted,  torn and worn. We are invited to cry, to wail, to sob, to shout, to scream, to pour it all out. We are invited to ask, to request, to address the fullness of our needs, of our pain, of our fears, and of our sorrow. We are invited to come without any confidence of our own and yet be confident that in God, through Christ we can find real peace for our hearts and minds. “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus” Philippians 4:6-7 (NKJV).“May the Lord of peace Himself give you peace always in every way”                   2 Thessalonians 3:16 (HCSB).Love you, Pastor Hans 

My Little Big Brother

My Little Big BrotherI have two older brothers. One is my big big brother, Michael, and the other is my little big brother, Andreas Paul. Andi, is the little big one, little because size-wise he was the smallest of us five, big because other than his size there really wasn’t anything little about him. He was big in his influence, certainly on me. He was big in faith, big in heart, big in generosity, big in smarts, skill, energy, people skills, and huge in will power and tenacity. He was big enough for someone to model their life after him, big in true friendship, big as Dad, big as a husband, big as doctor. Like I said, he is my little big brother. In my opinion everyone should have a little big brother like that because you if you have one your life is so much better, so much richer. A LBB (Little Big Brother) is great to have if you want someone to ditch Kindergarten with for the very first time. A LBB is an excellent companion to sneak out of the house with in the middle of the night to do stuff you shouldn’t do. But an LBB is not just good for doing stupid stuff when you’re young, you learn of his real value as you go through life you can talk with him, pray with him, worship with him, and lean on him. A LBB gives you all kinds of reasons to be proud of him, you can brag on him and it is not really bragging because it is true (mostly, except when you get carried away – but no one will blame you).My LBB is down to his last few breaths, too soon, much too soon. Soon he will be buried; fortunately he began digging a long time ago and buried things in my heart, in my mind, in my memory. It is treasures he buried there, it’s what LBB’s do, they make you rich, they leave inspiration, they leave life, they never leave things empty. But have to warn you, it’s hard, very hard, to say goodbye to your LBB. I think it is because they are so precious, so irreplaceable, so darn easy to love, but that too is typical of my LBB.Faith, faith in Christ changed him, challenged him, keeps him. You would have a completely false picture of my Little Big Brother without his faith. When he surrendered his skepticism he also surrendered himself. When he drank from the cup of God’s grace he didn’t just sip and so he anchored it all in Jesus, his soul, his marriage, his family, his giftedness, his work, his passions, his days. When towering flood waves overran the shoreline of his life and swept out to sea his health, his career, his speech, and so much more, that faith remained. In the struggle to reclaim, to rebuild, and in the relentless pounding surf of “Why? Why? Why?” that faith remained. And so my LBB is not just leaving behind precious memories but real hope, the hope that comes when you can call Jesus Christ, the Son of God, the one who lived, and died, and rose again, your brother, “So now Jesus and the ones he makes holy have the same Father. That is why Jesus is not ashamed to call them his brothers and sisters” Hebrews 2:11 (NLT).My Little Big Bother’s last words to me were, “Liebe dich sehr” (love you so).To God be the glory, Pastor Hans    

Be an Othniel

When the sons of Israel cried to the LORD, the LORD raised up a deliverer for the sons of Israel to deliver them, Othniel the son of Kenaz, Caleb's younger brother. The Spirit of the LORD came upon him, and he judged Israel. When he went out to war, the LORD gave Cushan-rishathaim king of Mesopotamia into his hand, so that he prevailed over Cushan-rishathaim. Then the land had rest forty years. And Othniel the son of Kenaz died. Now the sons of Israel again did evil in the sight of the LORD. So the LORD strengthened Eglon the king of Moab against Israel, because they had done evil in the sight of the LORD. And he gathered to himself the sons of Ammon and Amalek; and he went and defeated Israel, and they possessed the city of the palm trees. The sons of Israel served Eglon the king of Moab eighteen years. Judges 3:9-14 (NASB, emphasis mine)Do you contribute to conflict, chaos, clamor, confusion, and acrimony? Do you help stir things up or settle things down? Do your words and actions cause nerves to be raw or calm? Can people around you rest or do you set them on edge? Are you an influence of peace or of drama? Is the “land” (your family, your relationships, your work place, class room, home, business, neighborhood, etc.) at rest or disturbed because of you?They never could hold onto it for too long. The ancient Israelites gained their freedom, had God’s promises and presence, and had a chance to have an awesome life, but they never were at rest, at peace, undisturbed and quiet for too long. Invariably they left and ignored the things that make for peace and rest. Then when it was gone, when things were miserable, they cried out to God like in the example you read above and God in his mercy and goodness granted them deliverance, freedom, and rest. Under Othniel (whose name means “God is powerful”) it was forty years. And then they chucked it again. Why did they? And why do we?Something died with Othniel, something did not take root in the two generations that benefited most from Othniel’s contribution to their freedom, their quality of life, their spiritual foundation. They saw no value in honoring God in everyday life, in accepting spiritual restraints, in practicing Biblical ethics. They did not consider these essential; they made no connection between fidelity to God and peace and blessing. They forgot that peace and rest don’t just happen but are the result of trusting in God, embracing goodness, practicing justice, and forsaking evil and wickedness. They didn’t believe that “there is no peace for the wicked” (Isaiah 57:21).So, are you part of the answer or part of the dark that causes others to cry out for deliverance and rest? Are you willing to let God use you as a deliverer, a restorer, as one who causes peace and rest to bless the “land” throughout your life? And what do you need to address and change so God can use you like an Othniel?"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.Matthew 5:9 (NASB)To God be all glory, love you, Pastor Hans   

Jesus and Alice Cooper (back to school)

"… learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls” Matthew 11:29 (NIV) Remember Alice Cooper singing “School’s Out?” Maybe you couldn’t wait for it to become true. Maybe you sang it at your graduation.“… No more pencilsNo more booksNo more teacher's dirty looksWell we got no classAnd we got no principlesAnd we got no innocenceWe can't even think of a word that rhymesSchool's out for summerSchool's out foreverSchool's been blown to pieces …” (Lyrics by Alice Cooper)I remember a young lady for whom Math was a nightmare. It kept her from finishing her college degree. She had almost straight As except for math, she had flunked it numerous times. Talk about frustrated.Did you ever ask a teacher or your parents, “Why do I have to learn this? How much of this am I actually ever gonna use in real life?”The reality is that throughout all of life you have to learn unless you want to be stupid, make stupid decisions, repeat stupidity, and suffer from the effects of stupidity. Learning can make your life better, make you wiser, make things easier.If I make the same mistakes over and over maybe it’s time to learn to do it different?If my life is full of turmoil, drama, and conflict maybe it’s time to examine what I have learned and how valuable it is. Maybe I need to show up for school again, regardless of how much I like Alice’s sentiments.If my relationships are not working, if I am always broke, if habits are hurting me, if I constantly hurt others, if lack discernment then maybe it is time to admit that I don’t know as much as I think I do and that I might need to depart from what I have learned so far.If others are not blessed by me, if love, goodness, generosity, wholeness, wisdom, joy, laughter, and peace isn’t something that others get from being with me then maybe enrolling with the best teacher ever isn’t a bad idea.As far as I know Jesus never taught a course on physics, math, biology, or chemistry, although as the creator of them all he certainly could have. No, he left that type of teaching to others. What Jesus focused his teaching on was on life, on God, on reality, on true success. You can know everything about math and be a terrible person. You can be the most skilled surgeon and be a heartache to your colleagues and family. You can be the savviest business woman and be dishonest and corrupt. You can be the best at football and be a jerk.“Learn from me,” maybe it’s time to take Jesus up on the offer. From what I have heard, even Alice Cooper did.To God be all glory, love you, Pastor Hans     

Rest for Your Souls

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV) What does it mean to find rest for your soul? To have your mind and heart be at rest?  And why does this rest of soul seem so difficult to come by and so hard to maintain?Jesus’ words, “I am gentle and humble in heart,” just drip with restfulness, at least to me. Proud and harsh don’t go together with a soul at rest, that’s for sure, neither do anxious, worried, hurried, arrogant, violent, greedy, or being all about yourself.Jesus at once confronts both empty religion as well as simply ignoring the truth. The soul cannot find rest in either. Empty religion regardless of its name promotes something less than the truth and will peddle salvation and peace with God through some system of merit, of works of our own, and fill your bowl with guilt if you don’t comply. That’s why the religious leaders of the very people Jesus talked to constantly came out with new and more nuanced regulations. And that’s why people then and now turned their back on religion. Guilt is a big burden to bear it won’t let the soul rest. But godlessness does not bring rest to the soul either; it ignores the truth of the soul and of God. The truth of the soul is that exists because of God and is accountable to God, and death does not provide relief from accountability but simply ushers us into final reckoning. The truth of God is that he exists and his sovereignty extends over our lives, he can and does decree what is right and what is wrong, what is moral and what is immoral. If empty religion piles on false guilt then ignoring God fails to deal with real guilt before God. One is harsh and the other is proud. Neither can give the soul true rest.This is why I am growing ever more leery of moralistic preaching. It allows the soul to give itself a false sense of rest. It provides rest based on comparison to others, “I thank you God that I am not a sinner like …” (Luke 18:9-14). It steeps us in rest of soul based on merit and vaporizes the instant we transgress ourselves. It will strap the burden of hypocrisy on your back in the blink of an eye.This is why I am leery of empty preaching, the kind that looses itself in self-improvement, in comfort, in mere political action. The kind of preaching that leaves Jesus out or makes him secondary, the stripped down version of Jesus or the cleaned up version of Jesus. The fact is that he is more than psychotherapist, more than a guru, more than economist, more than a revolutionary, more than one among many. We exist because of him and only because of him (Colossians 1:16-17). He is not neat, comfortable, and clean, but beaten, bloody, crucified, buried, and risen because of his great love for us and our great sinfulness. He really can forgive, he really can teach me how to forgive, how to die to self, how to love God, how to love my neighbor, and how to love one another and find in that rest for my soul.Are you as amazed as I am that he says to us restless souls, “Come to me ..?”Thank you God for Jesus! Love you, pastor Hans  

Come to Me, .... I Will Give You Rest For Your Souls

“Come to me, all of you who are tired and have heavy loads, and I will give you rest. Accept my teachings and learn from me, because I am gentle and humble in spirit, and you will find rest for your lives (souls). The teaching that I ask you to accept is easy; the load I give you to carry is light.” Matthew 11:28-30 (NCV, parenthesis mine) The heavier your load the more tired you will get the less far you will be able to carry it. At some point you will have to either set it down or it will injure you, crush you. Of course Jesus is not speaking of a literal heavy load, but of the things that weigh down our hearts, our minds, our souls.“I’m not stressed!” my sister-in-law shouted on a crowded bus in response to being asked if she was stressed. I think she was stressed, what do you think?“I’m not tired!” was the often heard angry reply when we told our kids that indeed they were tired and needed to go to bed.“You need to slow down, you need to take a break,” Susie has reminded me more than once during our marriage, even when I didn’t see the need for either. Sometimes we don’t even realize how stressed, how tired, how overly busy we are. Sometimes we are the last ones to notice that we’re breaking down, that heavy load is taking its toll. We are prone to simply down more coffee and guzzle more energy drinks. We take pills to keep us going, help with our anxiety, and then help us sleep.Of course this is nothing new, except that our culture has found a way to speed it all up, to even put vacations on the fast lane. 24/7 has become a term we are all familiar with. “Rest” on the other hand has become an almost unfamiliar term to us. “Rest for your souls,” what is that? But how we yearn for it.God knows that we need rest, peace, help. Rest takes time, peace takes its time, helping gives time.At 53 I wish I could preach and write on this subject from strength, but I can’t. I still run myself down, go, go, go till I almost drop, wait far too long to come to Jesus with my heavy load. I am still prone to overestimate my own strength and stamina to the point of not even knowing when I am tired, stressed, and worn.Did you notice that there is an exchange of loads? My heavy load for Jesus’ light load. He doesn’t pile on top what is already too heavy for me. He doesn’t add to make me more tired and weary. Why am I so insistent about hanging on what is too heavy for me? Why do I have such a hard time letting Jesus help me? Is it pride? Is it dysfunction? Is it fear? Jesus has never let me down when I have come to him.To God be all glory, love you Pastor Hans   

Stuck

StuckI was dropping something off at Dennis’ house and made the mistake off backing up onto some soft ground. Slick highway tires, nothing in the back of my truck, and soft ground, you guessed it, equals getting stuck. They flew passed us as Susie and I drove slowly through Yosemite to take pictures of the valley in the snow. As we came around the next corner, you guessed it, there they were stuck in a snow bank on the side of the road (we did help them to get un-stuck).It is so easy to get stuck, to get stuck in life, to get stuck in a mindset, a bad attitude, in grief, bad habits, an addiction, a bad relationship, a reputation, in a boring or lousy marriage, in lies, in something that ends with ...holic, and so much more. People are stuck in hospital beds, nursing homes, prisons, gangs, jobs, war zones, party lines, violence, abuse, oppression, cultural norms, religions, and so much more. And don’t forget being stuck in what ifs, in guilt, regret, pain, hopelessness, consequences of bad decisions, debt, and sin.When you read through the Bible (God’s word/written revelation) you constantly encounter people, groups, and even entire nations being stuck. By the time you get to the book called Lamentations you are ready to weep with the prophet Jeremiah, the stuckness is staggering, as it is today.There is a common denominator running through all of this stuckness: Human stubbornness, human sinfulness, human failure, an unwillingness to listen to God, to regard the wisdom of God, to follow the ways of God, to embrace the will of God, and to respond to the word of God with faith and obedience. When Jeremiah pens his lament, his cry, the measure of the consequences of all this unwillingness towards God has piled up. The Israelites personally and collectively find themselves stuck deeper than would have ever imagined.They were stuck in the anger and judgment of God, stubbornness and unwillingness to listen to God will lead you there, guaranteed. Amazingly, even the living hell they were experiencing was not enough to soften their hearts. It is a terrible thing to have a stuck heart, an angry heart, a bitter heart, a vengeful heart, an unforgiving heart, a merciless heart, a self-centered heart, a greedy heart, a lustful heart, a faithless heart, an unloving heart , an unyielding heart towards God.Jeremiah finally cries out and states the obvious, “I/we are stuck beyond hope – except forYou God.” Maybe that’s your cry, if it is, then turn or return to God.I have been deprived of peace; I have forgotten what prosperity (happiness) is.So I say, "My splendor is gone and all that I had hoped from the LORD."I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall.I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." Lamentations 3:17-24 (NIV, parenthesis mine) To God be all glory, love you, Pastor Hans  

Junior, Shaheed, peace, and a short list

It has been a trying few weeks for Susie and I. Our Grandson, “Junior,” was abused so badly by his Dad, our son, that he went into cardiac arrest and ended up at Oakland Children’s Hospital with catastrophic brain injuries. We often referred to Shaheed as our bonus son, because God placed him into our family when he was almost fifteen. He presented us with lots of “challenges” that stretched our love thin more than once, but nothing like this. A few days into the ordeal Shaheed finally confessed, was arrested, and is now jail waiting for the judicial process to take its course.Anger, such anger, confusion, deeper than deep disappointment, shame, questions, so many questions, disbelief, shock, broken-heartedness, sorrow beyond words, yes, overwhelming sorrow and grief have filled our days. How could he? Why did he? The lies. The brutality. The caring for nothing but himself. The utter absence of excuses. The senselessness. The pain, Junior’s pain, his Mama’s pain. Hoping for a miracle, constant bleak medical outlooks, praying that this will not end with Junior in a long term vegetative state. Changes that look good and seem encouraging and yet might not be at all. Weariness. Sorrow. Our hearts and minds like parched ground yearning for drops of peace, that peace of God beyond understanding.I haven’t taken his calls, not willing to pay $15 per call, afraid I’d say things I’d regret. A letter is as far as I have gotten. I have gotten various unsolicited advice though, which I am sure was meant to be helpful but if I am honest was hurtful.I was sitting on our back deck a few days, in the coolness of early morning, thinking, praying, wondering how to navigate through this in a godly, Christlike way. So I reviewed in my mind sure directives from God’s word (the Bible), things I knew applied regardless of how I felt, words I could fully trust to be of the Holy Spirit. It didn’t take long before I had a short list, and surprisingly that list poured peace into my heart, settled my mind, refreshed my soul. I believe that moment to be an answer to the many prayers friends, brothers and sisters in Christ, have lifted up on my behalf. I believe that moment God wept with me and let His mercies and compassions, which are new every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23), fall on me.Maybe you are wondering what the list mentioned above entailed? Here it is:

• I have to forgive, forgiveness is not optional for a follower of Jesus.

“Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you” Ephesians 4:32 (NASB).“And forgive us our sins, For we ourselves also forgive everyone who is indebted to us. And lead us not into temptation” Luke 11:4 (NASB).

• I have to love, it too is not optional for Christian.

"This I command you, that you love one another” John 15:17 (NASB) “We love, because He first loved us. If someone says, ‘I love God,’ and hates his brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen” 1 John 4:19-20 (NASB)

• I have to be careful not to let bitterness take a foothold in me.

“ Make sure that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no root of bitterness springs up, causing trouble and by it, defiling many” Hebrews 12:15 (HCSB)

• I am allowed to be angry, but I am not allowed to sin in my anger.

“ BE ANGRY , AND yet DO NOT SIN; do not let the sun go down on your anger” Ephesians 4:26 (NASB).“This you know, my beloved brethren. But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God” James 1:19-20 (NASB).

• I need to guard my tongue which means I need to guard my thoughts.

“ Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption” Ephesians 4:29-30 (NIV).Thank you for all your praying, caring, and loving.To God be all glory, Pastor Hans