It has been a trying few weeks for Susie and I. Our Grandson, “Junior,” was abused so badly by his Dad, our son, that he went into cardiac arrest and ended up at Oakland Children’s Hospital with catastrophic brain injuries. We often referred to Shaheed as our bonus son, because God placed him into our family when he was almost fifteen. He presented us with lots of “challenges” that stretched our love thin more than once, but nothing like this. A few days into the ordeal Shaheed finally confessed, was arrested, and is now jail waiting for the judicial process to take its course.Anger, such anger, confusion, deeper than deep disappointment, shame, questions, so many questions, disbelief, shock, broken-heartedness, sorrow beyond words, yes, overwhelming sorrow and grief have filled our days. How could he? Why did he? The lies. The brutality. The caring for nothing but himself. The utter absence of excuses. The senselessness. The pain, Junior’s pain, his Mama’s pain. Hoping for a miracle, constant bleak medical outlooks, praying that this will not end with Junior in a long term vegetative state. Changes that look good and seem encouraging and yet might not be at all. Weariness. Sorrow. Our hearts and minds like parched ground yearning for drops of peace, that peace of God beyond understanding.I haven’t taken his calls, not willing to pay $15 per call, afraid I’d say things I’d regret. A letter is as far as I have gotten. I have gotten various unsolicited advice though, which I am sure was meant to be helpful but if I am honest was hurtful.I was sitting on our back deck a few days, in the coolness of early morning, thinking, praying, wondering how to navigate through this in a godly, Christlike way. So I reviewed in my mind sure directives from God’s word (the Bible), things I knew applied regardless of how I felt, words I could fully trust to be of the Holy Spirit. It didn’t take long before I had a short list, and surprisingly that list poured peace into my heart, settled my mind, refreshed my soul. I believe that moment to be an answer to the many prayers friends, brothers and sisters in Christ, have lifted up on my behalf. I believe that moment God wept with me and let His mercies and compassions, which are new every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23), fall on me.Maybe you are wondering what the list mentioned above entailed? Here it is:
- I have to forgive, forgiveness is not optional for a follower of Jesus.
“Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you” Ephesians 4:32 (NASB).“And forgive us our sins, For we ourselves also forgive everyone who is indebted to us. And lead us not into temptation” Luke 11:4 (NASB).
- I have to love, it too is not optional for Christian.
"This I command you, that you love one another” John 15:17 (NASB) “We love, because He first loved us. If someone says, ‘I love God,’ and hates his brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen” 1 John 4:19-20 (NASB)
- I have to be careful not to let bitterness take a foothold in me.
“ Make sure that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no root of bitterness springs up, causing trouble and by it, defiling many” Hebrews 12:15 (HCSB)
- I am allowed to be angry, but I am not allowed to sin in my anger.
“ BE ANGRY , AND yet DO NOT SIN; do not let the sun go down on your anger” Ephesians 4:26 (NASB).“This you know, my beloved brethren. But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God” James 1:19-20 (NASB).
- I need to guard my tongue which means I need to guard my thoughts.
“ Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption” Ephesians 4:29-30 (NIV).Thank you for all your praying, caring, and loving.To God be all glory, Pastor Hans