Dad, Texas or Albuquerque?

My Dad lived his entire life in Germany, but as a father he spent too much time in Texas instead of Albuquerque. His record as a dad is at best a mixed one. He was smart, educated, successful, hard-working, good at providing, involved and respected in the community and in church, trying to give his sons opportunities in life, all the while abusing alcohol, beating the living daylights out of us, flying off the handle at a moment’s notice,  and doing a good job at what God warns dads against, “Fathers, do not exasperate (embitter, aggravate, provoke) your children, so that they will not (become discouraged) lose heart” Colossians 3:21 (NASB, parenthesis mine).

I didn’t share this about my Dad to make him look bad or to somehow get back at him, he died and was buried a long time ago. What I am wondering about today is my own Dad record because every dad has one. I can tell you this, if you are a father of a child, your Dad record has a huge impact. My father impacts me to this day, and it took me an awfully long time to deal with the crap of his Dad record. But I am responsible for my own Dad record, and the impact I am having on my kids’ lives.

A man once stopped by the church looking for help. He wanted to buy a bus ticket to somewhere in Texas. He said it was the next stop in his journey of finding himself. I asked him how finding himself was going. He told me he was having the time of his life. I asked him to tell me a bit more about his life. He didn’t really want to, but he finally told me he had a wife and three kids in Albuquerque. I offered to buy him a ticket to Albuquerque, so he could get back to be near his kids, get a job, and help provide for them. He didn’t like that at all, he needed more time to find himself. I told him he was full of it and he would have to find his own way to Texas. He stormed off telling me I wasn’t much of preacher, and he might be right.

I told you about this traveling man in case, like me,  you are father, because once you are one (whether or not you planned to be one makes no difference) you have God-given dad responsibility. If you put a child into this world, doing right by that girl or boy, in a way that will make God nod with approval, is one of your chief and life-long responsibilities. If you have a child, you will have a Dad record, the only question will be what kind – mixed, decent, so-so, awesome, godly, absent, uninvolved, abusive, cold, tender, the worst, the best … There are too many dads in Texas when they are needed in Albuquerque.

I have been privileged, blessed, to be a Dad for 37 years now. I am telling you so you know that they have been out of diapers for a long time, in fact, they are out of our house, which was the plan, and I am proud as can be of them. But I am not done being a Dad, I am still adding to my Dad resume (and Opa/Grandpa record, which is also part of the Dad resume). What kind of older and all-too-soon old Dad will I be? I really am concerned about that. I have seen too many Dads blow it in the tail-end of life, get off the godly trail, forsake being a blessing, quit being a spiritual example, and instead celebrate the selfish life, become hard and difficult to deal with, and move to Texas when they should be in Albuquerque adding to their Dad (Grandpa) resume.

I think Dads from Albuquerque lived and wrote the following: Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers.  But his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers. Psalm 1:1-6 (NIV)

LORD, who may dwell in your sanctuary? Who may live on your holy hill? He whose walk is blameless and who does what is righteous, who speaks the truth from his heart and has no slander on his tongue, who does his neighbor no wrong and casts no slur on his fellowman, who despises a vile man but honors those who fear the LORD, who keeps his oath even when it hurts, who lends his money without usury and does not accept a bribe against the innocent. He who does these things will never be shaken. Psalm 15:1-5 (NIV)

A good Dad leaves an inheritance to his children’s children. Proverbs 13:22a

Dad, Grandpa, it is not too late to move back to Albuquerque. 

To God be all glory. Love you, Pastor Hans

Father's Day (How we impact our children)

June 19 2011ImageThe force of the recent earthquake off the eastern coast of Japan and the tsunami it created impacted the west coast of the United States after it had traveled thousands of miles across the ocean, but without a doubt it had its greatest and most lasting impact in the places closest to the epicenter. That’s how it is for us men who have children; we will have the greatest impact (for good or bad) on those closest to us – our daughters and sons, our families.God designed it that way, both the ability to produce children and actual children are a gift from God (Psalm 127:3). But as with all God entrusts to us he also will hold us accountable for what we do with our children as well. We will answer for whether or not we have kept his commandments as Dads, whether or not we have:• Lead our children to a life of faith in and love of Almighty God and his Son Jesus Christ."You shall have no other gods before Me. You shall not make for yourself an idol, or any likeness of what is in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the water under the earth. You shall not worship them or serve them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children, on the third and the fourth generations of those who hate Me, but showing lovingkindness to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My commandments” Exodus 20:3-6 (NASB).“The most important commandment is this: ‘Listen, O Israel! The LORD our God is the one and only LORD. And you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength” Mark 12:29-30 (NLT).“And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us” 1 John 3:23 (NIV).• Trained them so they will live good and godly lives. “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it” Proverbs 22:6 (NIV).“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord” Ephesians 6:4 (NLT).• Lived holy lives ourselves, giving our sons and daughters a living example of godliness, righteousness, and integrity. “Don't lazily slip back into those old grooves of evil, doing just what you feel like doing. You didn't know any better then; you do now. As obedient children (Dads), let yourselves be pulled into a way of life shaped by God's life, a life energetic and blazing with holiness. God said, ‘I am holy; you be holy’" 1 Peter 1:14-16 (MSG, parenthesis mine).• Modeled seeking the kingdom of God and in doing so loved and served others. "But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness …” Matthew 6:33 (NASB).“If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, "Love your neighbor as yourself," you are doing right” James 2:8 (NIV).In my almost 29 year experience of being Dad, the 37 years I lived before my Dad died, and the 51 years I have been able to observe all kinds of dads I have found three things that just never mix with being a good and godly Dad who wants to impact his children with blessing. They are sin of any kind, selfishness, and acting like your single. On the other hand I have found seeking the guidance of the Spirit of God, learning the wisdom of the Word of God (the Bible), walking in the ways of God, and cultivating a heart for God and the things of God to be indispensible in my desire to be great Dad.Happy Fathers’ Day, to God be all glory, Pastor Hans