Dad, Texas or Albuquerque?

My Dad lived his entire life in Germany, but as a father he spent too much time in Texas instead of Albuquerque. His record as a dad is at best a mixed one. He was smart, educated, successful, hard-working, good at providing, involved and respected in the community and in church, trying to give his sons opportunities in life, all the while abusing alcohol, beating the living daylights out of us, flying off the handle at a moment’s notice,  and doing a good job at what God warns dads against, “Fathers, do not exasperate (embitter, aggravate, provoke) your children, so that they will not (become discouraged) lose heart” Colossians 3:21 (NASB, parenthesis mine).

I didn’t share this about my Dad to make him look bad or to somehow get back at him, he died and was buried a long time ago. What I am wondering about today is my own Dad record because every dad has one. I can tell you this, if you are a father of a child, your Dad record has a huge impact. My father impacts me to this day, and it took me an awfully long time to deal with the crap of his Dad record. But I am responsible for my own Dad record, and the impact I am having on my kids’ lives.

A man once stopped by the church looking for help. He wanted to buy a bus ticket to somewhere in Texas. He said it was the next stop in his journey of finding himself. I asked him how finding himself was going. He told me he was having the time of his life. I asked him to tell me a bit more about his life. He didn’t really want to, but he finally told me he had a wife and three kids in Albuquerque. I offered to buy him a ticket to Albuquerque, so he could get back to be near his kids, get a job, and help provide for them. He didn’t like that at all, he needed more time to find himself. I told him he was full of it and he would have to find his own way to Texas. He stormed off telling me I wasn’t much of preacher, and he might be right.

I told you about this traveling man in case, like me,  you are father, because once you are one (whether or not you planned to be one makes no difference) you have God-given dad responsibility. If you put a child into this world, doing right by that girl or boy, in a way that will make God nod with approval, is one of your chief and life-long responsibilities. If you have a child, you will have a Dad record, the only question will be what kind – mixed, decent, so-so, awesome, godly, absent, uninvolved, abusive, cold, tender, the worst, the best … There are too many dads in Texas when they are needed in Albuquerque.

I have been privileged, blessed, to be a Dad for 37 years now. I am telling you so you know that they have been out of diapers for a long time, in fact, they are out of our house, which was the plan, and I am proud as can be of them. But I am not done being a Dad, I am still adding to my Dad resume (and Opa/Grandpa record, which is also part of the Dad resume). What kind of older and all-too-soon old Dad will I be? I really am concerned about that. I have seen too many Dads blow it in the tail-end of life, get off the godly trail, forsake being a blessing, quit being a spiritual example, and instead celebrate the selfish life, become hard and difficult to deal with, and move to Texas when they should be in Albuquerque adding to their Dad (Grandpa) resume.

I think Dads from Albuquerque lived and wrote the following: Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers.  But his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers. Psalm 1:1-6 (NIV)

LORD, who may dwell in your sanctuary? Who may live on your holy hill? He whose walk is blameless and who does what is righteous, who speaks the truth from his heart and has no slander on his tongue, who does his neighbor no wrong and casts no slur on his fellowman, who despises a vile man but honors those who fear the LORD, who keeps his oath even when it hurts, who lends his money without usury and does not accept a bribe against the innocent. He who does these things will never be shaken. Psalm 15:1-5 (NIV)

A good Dad leaves an inheritance to his children’s children. Proverbs 13:22a

Dad, Grandpa, it is not too late to move back to Albuquerque. 

To God be all glory. Love you, Pastor Hans

Pouring in - Pouring out

We were having the time of our lives playing in the sandbox. But it seems inevitable that playing hard will lead to some kind of accident, especially when you are surrounded by a fleet of Tonka heavy equipment and with shovels furiously digging. Sure enough, one of my grandsons lost control over the bulldozer he was operating bonked himself a good one. He cried and I yelled, “Stupid dozer!”Immediately he shifted gears, quit crying, walked over to me, looked me straight into the eyes, and with a most serious voice scolded me, “We don’t say that Opa!”“Say what?” I asked.“You know. It’s a bad word Opa!”“What word?” I wanted to know.“I’m not going to say it, but you know, OPA!”Indeed, I did know, and clearly, I was trying to corrupt my grandson. You have to be careful what you fill little hearts and minds with, because what you fill them with will be what comes out. This is not just true of little hearts and minds but yours and mine as well. Our mouths, our actions, our reactions are an indication of what fills us, “The things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, … For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander” Matthew 15:18-19 (NIV).It is easier to fill an empty cup than it is to fill one that is already full, that’s why wise parents from the get-go pay careful attention to what goes into their kids’ hearts and minds. A heart and mind that has been filled with bad words, habits, attitudes, ways of thinking and behaving can’t be filled with goodness and godliness until you first pour all that out. Before the Spirit of God can fill you and me with “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control,” we have to pour out what the Holy Spirit wants to replace, “Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified (poured out and continue to pour out) the sinful nature with its passions and desires,” because the reality of a holy and godly life is only possible by God’s Spirit and making room for all he desires to fill us with, “Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit” Galatians 5:22-25 (NIV).That pouring out, letting God have complete control of the filling and directing our hearts, minds, wills, plans, desires, attitudes, and habits, is difficult. In our sinfulness, we love to hang on to the sinful, selfish, spoiled, soiled, and same. And, in our perverseness others’ spilling over with what shouldn’t fill us makes us feel a little better. This, our brokenness and sinfulness, is why Christ came and is necessary, only he can help cleanse our hearts and minds and fill us with the Holy Spirit.“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me” Psalm 51:10 (ESV)“God, make a fresh start in me, shape a Genesis week from the chaos of my life” Psalm 51:10 (MSG)             To God be all glory. Love you, Pastor Hans   

Teach Them About More Than Snakes

When you raise your children in Don Pedro and you encourage them to play outside the responsible thing to do is to teach them about snakes, in particular rattle snakes. But since you don’t want your kids to get close enough to a rattle snake to make a definite identification you tell them to stay away from all snakes dead or alive. “No playing with snakes, ever! Got it?” “No poking snakes with a stick, no touching snakes! Got it?!” “What do you do when you see a snake, or hear a rattling sound?”“I turn around, run into the house, and tell Daddy or Mommy or the Babysitter.”“Good answer, that is exactly what you do.”“Do you ever touch or play with snake?”“No, silly Daddy, you run and tell.”“Why?”“Because snakes bite and can hurt you very bad.”“What else you don’t do when you play outside?”“I don’t stick my hands where I can’t see and I look where I walk?”“Why?”“So snakes won’t bite me.”“Do you play by the wood pile or in the rocks?”“No Daddy.”“Why?”“Cause snakes like it there.” You have to teach your kids about all kinds of things, like fire, respect, boys/girls, honesty, glue and glitter, honor, being color-blind, brushing their teeth, responsibility, selflessness, generosity, doing chores right, excellence, not quitting, using tools, changing tires, controlling their temper, working hard, cleaning up after your puppy, being a giver not a taker, contributing, being home on time, … But the most important thing we teach our children is what we teach them about God and the things of God. It will affect their entire life, their destiny, and their soul, “Bring them (your children) up in the discipline (training) and instruction of the Lord” Ephesians 6:4 (ESV).In trying to be faithful to that command of God, Susie and I, found the Word of God (the Bible), prayer, and the community of God (church) indispensable.“What is the most important thing you will ever do?”“Love God and my neighbor, Dad.”“You are so right! So very smart! And that is why you are my favorite (all the others are just ugly ducklings, runts, and trolls)!” To God be all glory. Love you, Pastor Hans

I Hate Stumbling

Now to him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of his glory with great joy, to the only God, our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen. Jude 1:24-25 (ESV) I hate to admit it, but I am not as sure footed as I was when I was 25. I was reminded of that last time I went trout fishing on the South Fork of the Tuolumne river. I used to be able to rock hop and leap all over. Now I am much more prone to stumble and fall. In fact, I hit the deck twice a few weeks ago just navigating around my yard. I blame it on my current back struggles and how they affect my left leg.I watch my grandson trying to gain stability on his young legs. He too, spills regularly, but he doesn’t fall as far and his bones are softer than mine. Yet, if he fails to gain stability on his legs his life will be much tougher, much more bruised, and much more limited.Of course we don’t just stumble with our legs. Ever stumbled with your mouth? Didn’t find the right words? Made a mess with the words you did manage? Wish you could somehow take them words back?We stumble with our emotions. For many, their temper and anger (how they express and manage it) trip them up time after time. They continually make them stumble. For others it is depression, or anxiety, or paralyzing fear.For some it is money, the making of it, the managing (actually mismanaging) of it, the spending of it, the love of it, that time after time causes them to stumble, to upset their lives, to add enormous stress and worry.James is right when he writes, “we all stumble in many ways” James 3:2 (ESV). People have stumbled over their ambitions, jealousy, because of their friends, relatives, how people have treated them, injustice, and ….Jude’s main concern in his short letter next to the last book of the Bible is far too many people stumbling spiritually. I can attest to that after pastoring for 32 years. Heck, all I have to do is look in the mirror and get a glimpse of a stumbler.Stumbling is a special concern to me as a Dad and now Granddad. I want to model and contribute to the stability of my children and grandchildren, and that is tough to do if I stumble too much, especially spiritually. There is absolutely no one better at helping me/us when it comes to stumbling, gaining balance, acquiring stability in life with all of its challenges and twist and turns, than God and his Son Jesus Christ. There is no resource better than the Bible (God’s written revelation) when it comes to building the strength of mind, heart, faith, and habits needed to avoid stumbling. There are few foundational habits as important as gathering weekly with other stumblers to encourage each other and worship the one who daily offers his almighty hand to keep us from stumbling.To God be all glory. Love you, Pastor Hans   

Of being a Grandpa, Moses, and doing God's will

Susie and I were awarded the rank of “Grandparent” last Tuesday. Shaheed Jr. greeted the light of day at 8 pounds 1 ounce, and 20 inches in length. Dad already claims he looks like him, and by the way Mom is okay. There is just one problem – Susie and I are way too young to be a Grandma and Grandpa, an Oma and Opa.How in the heck did this happen? It seems like just when you have somewhat figured things out things are changing. I think Moses must have felt like that. His life is marked by three sets of forty years. In each set he had to adjust, make decisions, take on different roles.The last big adjustment came when he was eighty, yup 80. He was very reluctant, even when he knew for certain that God was talking to him. He came up with all kinds of objections and what ifs, and finally he told God to give the job to someone else, “Moses said, ‘Please, Lord, send someone else.’ Then the LORD’s anger burned against Moses, …” Exodus 4:13-14 (HCSB). He ticked God off, He thought this was up for discussion, but it wasn’t anymore than becoming a grandparent is. God doesn’t come to us like He is working for Gallup Polls. He doesn’t reveal his will to us to see whether or not we like it. Moses didn’t realize what privilege it is to be called on by God to carry out His will. The question for Susie and I is not whether or not we like to be grandparents, the question is what kind of grandparents will we be.I am wondering, has God been calling on you and all He is encountering is reluctance? An unwillingness to change, to adjust your life to His will? Have you been telling God to assign the responsibility to someone else? Are you in danger of ticking God off? Or have you already made him angry?Moses could have written a book covering the first eighty years of his life, and it would have been great story. But it was the surrender, the adjustment to God’s will he made at eighty that made it a bestseller.Looking back years later, I wonder if Moses just shook his head at his own foolishness when he thought about the time he told God, “Send someone else.” I wonder what advice he would give to you and me? Then again, I don’t think it is too hard to figure out if you read the story.My prayer is that you and I will drop any reluctance, that we will see beyond the what ifs, and that we will rejoice in being called on by God?To God be all glory, love you, Grandpa Hans